This is the final countdown *doo doo doo, doo*

It was one hell of a week.

We could literally have been dead, and our family would not know.

Scratch that – I’ll stop being dramatic now and save Dad’s heart. 😊

We had to delay our start time at Lagavulin by a week, thanks to some unexpected van hangups. While the weight downrate certificate came in on the Friday before our weekend in London, there was a whole lotta getting-to-know-the-van (and it’s ‘more issues than an angsty teenager’) before we hit the road to our new home of Islay.

So let’s lay this out like an episode of 24, shall we?

dun dun (dramatic Law & Order music)

Monday 25th March, London – Henfield

After a long train ride and a race to a bus (that literally took off just as we arrived), we trekked 45 minutes to our final destination – a hidden car yard behind a horse stable, where our new home ‘Bessie’ was parked. After getting somewhat acquainted with the old gal, we took her to Blackland Farm caravan site and hit our first obstacle. Seems that UK vehicle insurance providers aren’t so fond of non-UK residents, driving on international licenses?! Fielding rejection after rejection for 3 hours, we found one provider who would accept our van. After forking out an abysmally large sum, we then drove for an hour and a half in an attempt to meet the guy who was supposed to give us a run-through of how it all worked – but who conveniently was not available on the afternoon we arrived (just great). Instead we bought an electrical cord so we could hook up to power for the night and did a big shop at Tesco, right when you’re not supposed to shop (hangry level 11). Poor Alex had to make do with a cold sandwich for his birthday dinner! We then schlepped back to the campsite, tired but thrilled to have the power to put the heater on. We’re realising that every time we go anywhere, it takes longer to drive, longer to park, and longer to get away than if we were in a regular-sized vehicle.

Tuesday 26th March, Henfield

After I busted out some hours for my remote consultancy work, we went to try our luck with a campervan specialist to see if he could recommend an off-grid power option for us – or better yet, could you just squeeze us in for a full upgrade thankssomuch. While he was very helpful and we learnt a lot about our system, we were once again left without an off-grid option in such a short timeframe. We know that Islay has very limited powered camping options (and by limited, I mean one, at the astronomical price of £34 per night!) so are desperate for an off-grid solution so we’re not eating cold salad every night. We then headed into the nearest hardware store to get our windscreen wipers replaced since it’s been bucketing rain and the wipers seem to have only just developed an intensely annoying squeak. We also finally figure out how to use our toilet – because when nature calls you definitely want to have a flush function!

Wednesday 27th March, Henfield

Shortly after claiming Bessie, we realised that the gas setup was not connected – and the connection installed is not compatible with the bottles we have (fabulous!!). It’s also a LPG refill system with green bottles that it seems nobody in the whole of the UK had heard of. Cue frantic Googling and confused looks (“why are these gas bottles from Belgium?!”) and doing a ring around to see if anyone could help us out. We need gas for almost everything in the van – heating, cooking, and powering the fridge. Luckily Alex came across a helpful guy on the phone so we did a big drive out to his motorhome dealership, and his team were able to squeeze us in for a LPG connection fit out. We then did another big drive out to see Darren (the guy who was supposed to give us our run through but it seems was very good at screening calls…) and we were grateful he took the time to reconnect our solar setup. It might only give us a trickle charge for the leisure battery, but it’s enough to keep the lights on! We then headed into Chichester in the hopes of ending the Great Slipper Search that had begun as soon as we touched down in London… but to no avail, much to the continued sadness of my poor cold tootsies. It seems every store that claims to have slippers decided it’s summertime?? And those items are no longer available for sale?? (what the heck, England?!) Alas, I am too Scottish to fork out £100 for Uggs, and so the desperate search continues.

Thursday 28th March, Henfield - Birmingham

Last night after freezing my fingers off filling up the fresh water tank, I accidentally dropped the water cap and in our attempts to fix it, the broken part of the cap got stuck in place and wouldn’t budge, which meant we couldn’t fill up the water tank (just great). Cue a frantic drive in the morning to the nearest motorhome dealership to buy a new cap and beg for tools to remove the old cap, which luckily came off easily. While there, we picked up a mini bin and grip matting so things don’t fly around so much. We are slowly getting an idea of where things can go and how, but the difficulty in finding where we can pick up these little specialty items AND the clock ticking down to our start date at Lagavulin is causing extra stress. We had booked a 4 hour driving lesson in to get comfortable with safely driving a vehicle of Bessie’s size, which came in hugely helpful for me as I am not comfortable driving manual OR a tank! Pretty much straight after the lesson, we drove 4.5 hours to Birmingham and the nearest IKEA, to pick up organisation bits and pieces, and traumatise Alex with the IKEA maze (which he swears makes the maze in the Goblet of Fire look like a walk in the park). We top off our late night with a stay at a truckie’s overnight stop, with a sea of semi-trailers parked for the night. Bessie doesn’t look like such a tank beside these lorries!

Friday 29th March, Birmingham – Kirkcudbright

We treat ourselves to a truckies brekky – the largest and cheapest meal we’ve had so far with literally a tin of tomatoes on the plate! And the day gets off to a great start where, finally, the Great Slipper Search ends! We stop in a small village for the express purpose of buying what seem like The Last Slippers Available In The Whole of the United Kingdom, and at last, a bit of luck on our side! The tootsies will be snug tonight 😊 We attempt to get our motorhome weighed, driving 90 minutes out of our way and in very narrow and windy lanes, only to arrive and the place is closed (just great). We smash out another 4.5 hours of driving and race past the border for Scotland into the quaint town of Kirkcudbright for a night at Silver Craigs campsite.

Saturday 30th March, Kirkcudbright – Glasgow - Lochgilphead

Well aware that this is our final day on the mainland, we drive 2 hours to head to an industrial retail park in Glasgow, as these seem to be the only spaces we can park Bessie without drawing ire from other shoppers. The list of last-minute desperate buys is long – black jeans for work, a headband beanie (which of course is not available, because it’s Summer apparently??), dowel to fix cupboards, new shoes for Alex… the list goes on. The big one we wanted to tick off was a portable battery and solar setup. Unfortunately the shop that we arrived at that said on the phone they have stock did not have physical stock, but stock in the online shop (because of course!). So we had no choice but to buy it online and cross fingers that it arrived sometime within the next 7 months on our time on Islay. Alex gets re-traumatised by our second trip to IKEA within three days, but is luckily placated by a plate of meatballs. And we manage to do a final big shop at Tesco, buying all the bits and pieces needed for off-grid life with Bessie. After another 2 hour drive, we do our first night off-grid wild camping at Lochgilphead, ready to board the ferry to our new island home the next day.

The race has ended!

Bessie's first night wild camping